ULTIMATA

That's it.

This is the last straw.

I have made my last ultimatum;

finally, it is time to act.

I just can't take the pressure.

I shall toss the condoms

years out of date.

I'm gonna roast a rooster

as effigy.

I will join a convent.

I am putting all expectations to rest

taking myself off the market

moving on

maturing past manhood.

I have finished.

I have given up.

I have quit.

It's over.

I am done.

Which'll make me all the more desirable to the ladies, right?