ANTICIPATION

Oh, this sucks.

No good can come of this.

There is no way ANYTHING will have improved

since last time.

It's like I'm on an endless treadmill

with no hope of release.

So why do I dread this so much?

What makes the anticipation

of this action

filled with such palpitations

trepidation,

and what feels like uterine contractions.

Why am I so scared?

Why does this day

this annual, average day

make me wish I were going to the dentist's

instead of this awful place?

Why am I so worried?

True pessimism would relax me

leave me secure that I know

exactly what I'm getting into

and I don't.

What if this is worse than I fear

- or worse -

better?

What if the reason this day is so anxious

is because I have hope

hope that I KNOW will be burst and swallowed

by day's end.

It's true.

I know it, though I don't

that by the end of this school day

yet again

I'll be depantsed.

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