THAT THING


At the age of seventeen
I masturbated eleven times
in a day.
At that point
it was a personal best.


I was inspired
you could say
by a picture emerging,
Pallas-powerful,
from my mind.
I envisioned a woman
I'd never seen
outside of imagination
but so strong was her pull
that I pulled and pulled and pulled
for hours on end.
It ended excruciatingly.


I have remembered that day
for all the years since,
thought of it frequently
when aiming to overcome
that earlier record.
I have failed
again and again, as
nothing could outperform
that success.


So why do I bring it up
today
and with you?
Why would I speak of this to anyone at all?
Because the image that inspired
the sight that sailed those thousands of seamen
the very thing that had to be beaten
out of me
was you.

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