THE REVUE


Have you ever been fucked in the gut by a small Greek?
Now, when I say fucked,
I don't mean a small Greek is fucking you
but rather, is being used for the act.
Has this happened to you?
Have you ever felt your side ruptured
by a swarthy midget
whose arms inadvertently extend the wound
each time he enters
and is extracted?
If so, if you know of which I speak,
then you may have a sense
of what Artemis Stowe's directorial debut is like.


The Revue, the first film of this fledgling,
is, how can I say this politely?
It is awful.
It is horrendous.
It is a nightmarish collection of stupidity
and ignorance
to a mid-eighties lite-jazz score.
This is a film
that must be avoided.
This is a picture
that ought to be burned.
You must do what you can
to eradicate any opportunity to view
The Revue.
Artemis Stowe is a monster
and you are a fool
if you have any intent
to see this flick.


Do not let yourself be fucked
in this way.
This is my review:
it's a horrible stew.
There's nothing to do.
It'll make you spew, leave you blue
pains added new, happiness flew.
I tell you true:
avoid The Revue.

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