TO MY THIRD WIFE


I love you,
you know that, don�t you?
I love you more than my old girlfriends
or my new one.
I may even love you more
than my second wife.
(She was a disaster!
Always arguing,
yelling, telling me what to do.
She had no idea that I'm a man
with needs
and special requirements.
She never understood me
like you do).


I may even love you more than I do
the Redskins
(who haven't really satisfied me lately
- but you've heard me bitch and moan
enough about that this year, right?)
and certainly more than the Sox.


You have been kind and good to me,
my beautiful third wife,
you have seen me through operations
and stings,
and that embarrassing Cub Scout phase.
You are the best wife I have available to me.
Better than my last, at least,
and all of my girlfriends
- even the latest.

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