I'M SO EXCITED

All right

maybe I am a little nervous

a little anxious

a little excited.

Maybe I do have a certain amount of energy

building up

that I need to expel

or explode;

a couple of walls I still need to bounce off of

or through;

a few more hoops to jump through

and then again

or jump out of my skin.

Skin�

I�ve got a right to be nervous.

I haven�t masturbated in a while � it feels like centuries.

I can hear my blood swimming past my skull

feeding me some of what I need

but not all.

I have not masturbated.

I keep thinking of the oceans

the rolling waves

the plump juicy fishies that embody it

the seas� dark wet caress.

How I long to be out there.

How I long to be a seaman

or be surrounded by them.

It has been a time of nerves

of angles.

I am without my usual resources

to calm myself

all because of what I have sworn to do

sworn to be

all because of my secret oath

for you.

I have not masturbated

since I first saw you

and will not again

until I see you last.

So, anyway, I have a right to be nervous.

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