RELIVING

I am thinking about the dress you wore

when I first fell for you

slack-jaw stunned

into silence

in your presence

by your beauty.

I am thinking about how you looked

and what it must have looked like

to your boyfriend

and my girlfriend

and all our friends

who saw the electricity

coursing between us

a power plant

a chain storm

a Nagasaki invasion

in summer, '45.

I am thinking about how I wanted to

storm your beaches

crush your defenses

take your hostages,

how it seems so long ago

but was really hours

hours of subjective time

since I realized what I wanted to be when I grew up

and it was yours.

I am thinking about the first day

and how it was the last day of my old life

before I flamed out

exhausted, spent

and burst from my ashes

a new man

with new goals

and a new hairstyle.

I am thinking about the past

and your dress

and it is like I am there again

in the subjective past

where it is all present

and that

I think

is the greatest gift of all.

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