THE GOOD NEWS

Well, the good news is, I'm not dying.

The bad news is, you are.

Now, it's not as bad as all that.

Remember how upset you were when you thought it was me?

Do you recall how you said you wouldn't want to live in a world without me?

Well, that's no longer a concern, is it?

It's good. You get the best of this, really.

Well, except for the life insurance

and the freedom to do what I want

with whom

with nobody to ever stymie me again...

It'll be rough for me, too.

Particularly as you malinger and rot away

slowly, painfully...

Oh, didn't I mention that?