THREE MONTHS

The doctor said he had good news and bad news.

"The bad news is you've got three months to live."

"What's the good news?"

"You've got three months to live!

You can experience all the sweetness

all the light

all the joy and pain

of existence

multiplied a thousand times.

You are a short burst of flame

about to extinguish

but oh, how brightly you'll shine!"

I asked if he'd trade places with me

but he politely declined.

And since

I've sat here on my sofa

munching away at a bag of Fritos

thinking about the doctor's words.

And he's right.

Everything he said is just so true.

Now

I will be living my life to the fullest

gulping down my cup of joy

so I can be sure to ask for seconds

and thirds

and I can waste no more time, bitching, bemoaning my time to come.

I will drag every last moment of bliss from this world.

I will eat the extra Twinkie

reread all those Mickey Spillaine books

watch One Life to Live

and Days of Our Lives

while visiting their websites.

There is porn to view

and cartoons to catch up on

and baseball and basketball and bowling games to experience to the fullest!

It's true, so true

life begins at three months left

for me while I make up for all those years that I so fervently wasted.