THIS CAMPAIGN

It is obvious that this campaign I'm on must be massive

must be swift and decisive

must be unilateral yet multifaceted

to truly dominate the results.

I must control the theater of operations completely

and the prize is too sweet for anything less than absolute victory to be the goal I seek.

This morning, I must have the last apple cinnamon donut.

Information retrieval is an important first step.

Surveilling the region will provide me knowledge of your potential kitchen approach.

Misinformation can affect the result:

resetting your alarm may buy me useful moments ? perhaps hours.

Speedy reconnaissance therein will inform how many donuts are still available

and what variety.

The most primitive plan would be to liberate the box then and there,

but there are numerous border issues to consider:

How quickly could the contraband be effectively liquidated?

Could evidence of the wetwork be unobtrusively removed

before your awareness of the operation increased?

Certainly, there is much at risk.

Better, perhaps, to remove all evidence of the subterfuge

and allow the impression of sheer happenstance.

Securing the perimeter from external threats will leave the theater a bipartisan consideration

limiting the threat of unanticipated factors.

Waiting for your arrival in the kitchen

with every aspect of the oncoming exchange carefully predicted

will be most efficacious in providing the desired results.

When you see the table stock with coffee prepared

orange juice poured, toast made

and donuts on the tray

you will be so overwhelmed by the generosity of the gesture

that you'll be completely unaware of the true stakes involved.

You'll not even recognize the game of brinkmanship played

until the game is won.

Which, certainly

will give me a strong advantage in this afternoon's Cold Tomato Soup Target

during the Lunch Campaign.