BEST OF BOTH WORLDS

I got this friend; he's a nice one

and gets no chicks.

This other guy I know?

Biggest jerk in the world.

The ladies love him.

Me? I'm not a nice guy,

not kind nor sweet nor full of cheer

but women look at me

like some half-digested horrid thing.

This repulsive beast who they wouldn't pay to be near

and not even be willing to be paid to consort with.

The ladies loathe my very sight,

and must struggle within their souls not run screaming

from my presence.

So� I guess I'm just looking for a new role model.