THE WONDER THAT WAS ME

Look at this.

Look.

LOOK!

It is amazing.

It is beautiful.

I would say

of my many amazing features

and believe me

they are plentiful indeed

I believe

that most glorious of all

are my calves.

Look at them.

LOOK!

I don't think you're paying close enough attention.

These are a gorgeous sight

so tight

so firm

so mighty...

I think they're just right.

They are sweet.

They are strong.

They are huge

and you know what they say

about the size of a man's calves, right?

After all, the have to

carry the rest of the body around.

These are extraordinary calves

I must say

and I will

and I have faith

that history will bear out

that these are they finest calves

the world could ever appreciate.

These calves should be bronzed.

No! What am I saying?

For these items should never be encased

in such a base metal

even for posterity.

These calves must be saved

for time immemorial

in gold - in platinum

in plutonium!

so the world can know

forevermore

the wonder

that was me.

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