ACCOMPLISHED

He is a self-made man

my father

a man who has done many things

during his life.

He has been a teacher

a burglar, a chef and a king.

He has also been

or so I've been told

an accomplished gigolo

for many, many years.

In fact, that

was his original claim to fame.

From the wilds of Kentucky

my father grew to mighty manhood

and, pulling himself up

by his jockstrap

he became more than just a popular lothario

he became a professional.

Word of mouth

about his mouth

and his other effective equipment

spread far and wide

well past Kentucky

well past America

some say past the globe.

In fact, I believe

that it was not some disease

or an unfriendly husband

who thought his price too high

that did him in.

I believe that the man

I claim as my father

is off

in the stars

pleasuring all the ladies

from here to Copernicus.

And that is why I haven't seen him

since I offered him my paternity.

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